Late Show with David Letterman (1993–2015)
David Letterman: Self - Host, Self, Various, Self (host), Self - Guest, Self - Hosr
Photos
Quotes
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[David is working at McDonald's]
David Letterman : Welcome to Mc Donald's.
Customer : Get me a cheeseburger.
David Letterman : Your order is a cheeseburger?
Customer : Yep.
David Letterman : Are you busy right now?
Customer : I gotta head to work. Why?
David Letterman : Could you swing by the grocery store and get us a bag of onions?
Customer : A bag of onions?
David Letterman : Yeah. We're running low.
[Later, David takes new customer]
David Letterman : United 16957, 727. This is Kennedy Ground Control. What's the problem? Power it on in.
Customer : I have your onions here.
David Letterman : What?
Customer : The ten-pound bag of onions.
David Letterman : You're got the onions? All right. Come on through. We really appreciate it. Thanks for helping out.
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[David is working at McDonald's]
David Letterman : Yes. Welcome to Mc Donald's. What do you want?
Customer : Hello.
David Letterman : Yeah, what can I do for you?
Customer : Medium Sprite.
David Letterman : Yeah, what can I do for you?
Customer : Sprite.
David Letterman : Medium Sprite?
Customer : That's it.
David Letterman : That's all?
Customer : Yes.
David Letterman : You couldn't have gotten out of your car for a medium Sprite?
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David Letterman : [introduction to Stupid Pet Tricks and Stupid Human Tricks] This is only an exhibition. This is not a competition. Please, no wagering.
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David Letterman : In just a few minutes, my son will have completed his first trip around the sun.
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[David is working at McDonald's]
Customer : Can I have two Whoppers, please
David Letterman : We're all out of Whopples.
Customer : No. Whoppers, Whoppers.
David Letterman : We got no Whoppers. You kids quit screwin' around. We got no Whoppers here. Don't make me come out there.
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David Letterman : [during a typically silly comedy skit] This is the only thing on CBS right now...
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David Letterman : Ladies and Gentleman let's play America's fastest growing sensation "Will It Float?"