Bedazzled (2000)
Orlando Jones: Dan, Esteban, Beach Jock, Sportscaster, African Party Guest
Quotes
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Dr. Ngegitigegitibaba : It's already won the Poo-litzer Prize and it hasn't even been poo-blished, yet!
Elliot Richards : Well, like they say, Dr. Oingegedaydegegdeaybaba, a Pulitzer Prize and $3.50 will get you a café latte.
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[Two of Elliot's friends are sportscasters during the basketball wish]
Jerry : The fans are going nuts here at the Forum in Los Angeles. The score, 135 to 85. Elliot Richards has totally dominated. If you're just tuning in, it's a shame because you've missed one of the greatest performances in the history of sports.
Dr. Ngegitigegitibaba : Absolutely, Jerry. Absolutely. People say basketball caught fire with the ass-sendry of Michael Jordan. But after what we've seen here tonight, a lot of people are gonna be saying, Michael who?
Jerry : Right from the get-go, the fans took a look at Elliot Richards and a few women fainted and a few fellas, well, I'd rather not say, but they liked what they saw.
Dr. Ngegitigegitibaba : Absolutely. He's a big fella and an imposing fella.
Jerry : He's enormous. He's listed at 7'6 in the program, but I say he plays, like you said, 11 feet tall.
Dr. Ngegitigegitibaba : No, I don't think he's that big, Jerry.
Jerry : No, I'm saying the game he plays is that of some Viking giant with a basketball in one hand and a club in the other and standing 10, 11, 12 feet tall!
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Dr. Ngegitigegitibaba : [Sportscaster Lamar Garrett] He was Phi Slamma Jamma runnin' stank all over it with rib-ticklin' jumps of double vanilla funk!
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[after Elliot the basketball player makes a slam dunk and breaks the backboard glass]
Dr. Ngegitigegitibaba : [as Elliot is doing so] Elliot Richards: spittin' glass at your ass!