- Garfield: [before he starts eating lasagne; from teaser trailer] I apologize in advance. The eating you're about to see will not be pretty. And if you have young children, this would be a good time for them to leave the room.
- Garfield: [after gulping down a handful of breadsticks; from teaser trailer] And that's how *I* adopted Jon.
- Garfield: [putting the Monday paper in the shredder] And that's why we should go from Sunday to Tuesday.